Friday, May 26, 2006, 05:25 PM
I met this guy Drspirograph at a party a couple of weeks ago - and we had hit it off. He went on to imply we might have some sort of future together. However, in the following evening, he called me up to say that he was hung up on some other girl and didn't want to pursue anything further.

I'm not over it yet. In fact I did something foolish tonight - I drove over to his place after I saw a movie with a crowd that he was also with and I went over to his place, proceded to tell him what an idiot I was and kept apologising that I was obsessive but also saying that I quite hate how guys tend to tell me the relationship is over without giving it a real shot.

So there I was, rambling to Drspirograph who probably doesn't really care and doesn't quite know how to deal with an obsessive female. Though to my credit, I did state that I am obsessive from the very beginning (and this ends with him kicking me out of his house cause he has an early start tomorrow with the promise he'll talk to me about it in the future).

I have this disclaimer policy - kind of like the "I'm not a qualified financial planner but this is what I think of superannuation..." spiel that my boss from my last job always said - whenever a guy shows any interest of pursuing a relationship with me I recite what I perceive (and yes, there is an inherent bias) are my flaws in my personality.

"I'm obsessive. I don't take rejection well. I'm clingy."

And of course the boys always find it hard to deal with me whenever I do these things in the aftermath of rejection.

Most of the last guys I dated in the recent past have all been short term with them dumping me. Maybe for these very reasons. But I guess I hate that there is no love and empathy from them when I do these things. Why go for it at all and bring my hopes up only to crush me afterwards? It's like using a model and shouting to everyone in the office "yup, this is the model I'm going to use!" only to then quietly just comment it out in the macro and use a different one.

Maybe there is no mystique in putting my disclaimer out first and then putting 100% in. There's no challenge, there is no puzzle to solve. The excitement is no longer there - just something you've figured out and can now put it on the list of achievements of the day.

And then they avoid me and make it worse for me.

My first long term relationship was with Elm and we dated for 2.25 years. We spent about mu = 0.5 (stdev = 0.2) years fighting about the same thing before breaking up. I like protracted arguments because then you have to get to a point where both of you agree you've got to either get over it and get on with it. You've got the full exposure data.

And so the story goes with me making yet another fool of myself. I think I bothered with Drspirograph was because I felt empathy (or was it pity?) when I talk to him - an outlier indeed - which only makes me want to try harder.

With love,
The Actuary

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Sunday, April 16, 2006, 08:30 AM
So I took a quiz even though I know that these quizzes are completely biased, thus the maximum likelihood estimator should be rejected under the null hypothesis.

You are Submissive

You are one of those people who is prepared to just sit in the background of things, listening but not participating. Often people know your face but not your name, which is a shame because you have a lot of love and devotion to give.

You struggle with relationships sometimes because you don't always know how to be around people. Though you may be academically incredibly intelligent, you have trouble thinking for yourself. You need someone to tell you exactly what they want, as hints and subtleties tend to go straight over your head.

When you find the one for you, you are entirely dedicated to them. You put them on a pedestal and worship them from afar, often not acting on your feelings. If you are lucky enough to have someone come over and tell you that they want to be with you, then you are likely to stay with them forever.

Most compatible with: The Controlling

The Controlling love to boss people around, and would make it painfully clear what they want you to do. They like having someone to click their fingers at, so you are a match made in heaven. They aren't going to give you subtle hints that you will miss, they will just tell you exactly what they want, when they want it, and how. They will never elevate you from you position in the shadows (which suits you just fine!) instead using you to elevate themselves. Some people wouldn't stand for this but as you want nothing more than to see your partner happy, you will be perfectly content with this lot.

Least compatible with: The Hopeless Romantic

Much like you, the Hopeless Romantic wants to worship someone, but whereas you like giving all that attention, you certainly don't like receiving it. You aren't comfortable with being in the spotlight, and the Romantic won't just let you sit in their shadow where you like to be.

Your song is: Eric's Song, 12 Stones

Generalisation++. I like this statistic though:
8964 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 78037 times.
11% of people had this result.

Thank God for random statistics! Though I reckon that a romantic personality profile can't be built on a mere six questions. Though I have no empirical evidence to substantiate this statement.

The Actuary

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